52 Fridays…Self Talk

Yup, Friday again, Friends and time for 52 Fridays! Grab that journal, pen, soothing beverage and cozy into your favorite space to relax.

I’d like to start a conversation about the way we talk to ourselves. Last summer I spent some time in the wild with a dear friend that picked up on something I didn’t even realize I was doing. Not only was I speaking negatively about myself, I was doing it aloud.

I’m so glad she was kind enough to tell me I’m too hard on myself…I never noticed! But I sure pay attention to it now!

Friends, here’s your 52 Fridays topic…

Are you unkind to you? Do you speak negatively to yourself? Are you tougher on yourself than on anyone else? You may want to take a few moments to simply breathe and be, then begin to listen to what that little voice inside is saying. Is it kind? Jot it down if you feel so inclined. Start paying closer attention. Think about if you’d tell your friends the same things, because…”If you wouldn’t say it to a friend, don’t say it to yourself.” -Jane Travis.

Friends, this continues to be something I know I need to work on. I’m grateful this lady noticed I was not being a friend to myself. We know how important kindness is, so let’s choose to begin with ourselves…one more way to put our Best Foot Forward!

Have a beautiful weekend!

 

52 Fridays…Saying Yes to You!

Happy 52 Fridays, Friends! I’m cozied in with my coffee, journal, my sentimental Paper Mate pen, wrapped in a fuzzy blankie and ready to dive into this week’s thought…come along and join me!

This is a crazy-paced time of year for me; do you feel that way too? My planner is bulging with engagements and events…more so than ever before, there is simply a lot going on in my life right now.

I’ve learned long ago to analyze every activity of its relevance, to determine if it serves or sinks me. But in looking at my current schedule, there is nothing I’m willing to let go…all of it IMPORTANT! There’s Moms’ Night Out (I NEED/WANT this), Mother’s Day (I have THREE moms to honor), two bridal showers for my soon-to-be daughter-in-law, my older son’s college graduation, my brother’s birthday, my younger son’s last band concert of the school year, and then there is work…none of it I’d want to give up because I LOVE my job…all of this within the next 10 days! Oh, and I can’t forget workouts…those are non-negotiable!

Seriously, this is my schedule pared down, but I know things will calm down soon; many of these are major life happenings that don’t occur often. My calendar used to be insanely packed full of other stuff…of school, church and community volunteer commitments and distractions, plenty of extra days and nights each week of work responsibilities in a job that sucked the life out of me, mindless shopping trips to pacify my stressed spirit…it was beyond exhausting that kept me literally running from one thing to the next. Do you find yourself in a similar pattern?

I’ve learned a little word that has made all the difference; do you know that word of which I speak? I used to worry about what other people would think if I said it, wondered if they saw me as insolent, disconnected, uncaring. Do you know what? That simple word that SAVED me…

Are you drowning in a schedule that doesn’t serve you? Can you look through your upcoming calendar and find things that have little or nothing to do with you that are there because you said yes to other people…in effect, saying no to YOU? I challenge you to dig deep on this installment of 52 Fridays, to find and sound your voice with one word that will give YOU a break…

It’s time to say NO! Which is saying YES to YOU!

Take some time to sit with your journal, consider what commitments, responsibilities, engagements and events you can release to bring yourself closer to you.

52 Fridays…What Floats Your Boat?

Yup, it’s that time again already! Grab that journal, favorite pen, soothing beverage and settle in for a few moments devoted solely to YOU!

When my kids were young, I spent WAY too much time in stores. I busied myself looking for the latest and greatest. Shopping was a filler back then…it filled my time, the result filled my home, yet it never quite filled the void. Funny, when I think about it now, I was looking for something that couldn’t be found in any store. Can you relate?

These days, the last thing I want is things. I’ve made this mindful shift…

How does this idea hit you? Try it on for size. Would you rather collect things or memories and experiences. Why? No answer is wrong here! But look deeper within the why and you’ll get closer to comprehending what makes you tick, what truly feeds you. Take some time to reach further into this idea, Friends. Taking time to understand self is an amazing way to put our Best Foot Forward!

 

 

I’m Springing Into Motion!

Friends, I’m outside, smiling for a reason today! I’ve been back to my regular fitness/nutrition regimen for a solid week and I’m feeling pretty good about that! If you’ve been following me a while, you know I’m pretty notorious for hitting a wall (or being hit by one), so to speak, picking myself up, checking to be sure everything is in working order, then aiming myself toward forward progress. I refuse to quit on ME!

My nature has become quite like that Japanese Proverb, “Fall seven times, get up eight.” I’ve probably blogged at least seven of those “falls”…death of a loved one, trauma injuries sustained in an auto accident, multiple failed mammograms, biopsy, surgery, hospitalized family members, sports injuries, chronic pain…I could go on, you get the idea.

Lots of people have asked how I continue to push forward despite each fall or wall. What motivates me? All kinds of things, but I keep coming back to working through simple, short-term challenges. One I find on the internet, something a friend mentions, or one offered by my husband’s employee wellness program…anything that sparks my interest is worth a shot!

So I’m back on point with my fitness and nutrition for a week, and I’m determined to keep going, I’ve kept my eyes and ears open for that next little spark. As luck would have it, I’m beginning one today. It’s an extremely simple idea encouraged at Eric’s work called Spring Into Motion.

So between today and June 10th, I’ll be walking every day with an aim of 10,000 or more daily steps. Simple. Doable. Employees who participate and complete an evaluation at the end receive $25. I, as a spouse, earn nothing…unless you look further. Not only will I receive the health benefits, this is something that will get my husband moving too, something we can enjoy together. I’ll enlist the help of friends to keep me company too and will reward myself at the conclusion with some much-needed new shoes because there will be nothing left to these when I am done!

So I’m almost to my 10,000 steps already today. I made some time for a couple laps around one of my favorite trails and enjoyed the balmy fresh air and new life associated with spring…

Kind of symbolic…it’s a new beginning for me too!

Friends, think about what things drive you, motivate you to push forward, then implement a new one or more to get moving. Let’s ALL Spring into Motion!!!

 

52 Fridays…Taking Care of Me

Happy 52 Fridays, Friends! I don’t know about you, but for me, these weeks seem to be flying at warp speed. I lost control of my schedule for a bit and had to dial it back. In doing so it brought me straight to this week’s journal prompt!

I’ve got today off, totally and completely off. No work, no kiddo responsibilities…the day is mine. I spent some extra time doing things that ground and center me earlier this morning. I got to the gym for a mighty workout, then treated myself to a redbox rental of MY choosing) for later. I’ve got my coffee and am settled in to really digest today’s thought…

In doing what I’ve done this morning, I’ve got a great start on taking care of myself today. I’ve cozied into my chair and my journal is all set for some exploration. How about you?

Friends, do you ever consciously make time to care for yourself in ways that recharge your body, mind and soul? If so, good for you…it truly is GOOD FOR YOU! Keep it up!

Many of us are so consumed in caring for everyone else that we loose sight of our own needs. By the time we shows signs of overwhelmedness, we are well, well past due for any and all self care.

So whether you are at the mastery level or the me? I’m supposed to take care of me??? level, think about what it means to you, this notion of caring for yourself. What things do or can you do for you that encourage renewal, peace and calm. How often do you actually do these things? If you had the time, if your only goal for a day was to care for yourself, how would that look?

If you find you are too busy to fit you in your schedule, how can you shift things around to make you a priority.

Well, that’s a whole lot to think about. I’m off to prepare one of my favorite healthy lunches before I enjoy some creative artsy-fartsy fun I don’t prioritize nearly as often as I should…but maybe that’s about to change.

I Choose FIGHT!

For those of you new to my story, I’ll bring you up to speed. In 2012 I began a journey that saw me through a significant weight loss, and more exciting, a tremendous life transformation.

I’ve been on this wild ride for almost six years and I’ve experienced a multitude of highs and lows. Keep in mind, I’d previously gained and lost weight throughout my adult life…more like a roller coaster than the yoyo thing, really.

So my history was to lose the weight and then, for whatever circumstances, gain it back, plus more. It was a cycle that left me more ashamed and further defeated each time. Until 2012!

This time was different…SO different! I didn’t just focus on the food this time, so not only did I have the support of a dietitian, but I regularly met with a trainer and a health coach. Work in these areas were key to my lasting success…know how I know? Though I’ve gained back some of that weight over a longer period of time, I’m continually turning toward the issues instead of away from them. Here’s what I mean…

I’ve been taught to mindfully pick apart my behaviors, to pinpoint what needs to be fine-tuned. So lately I’ve noticed that creep on the scale, trending in the wrong direction. I’ve found myself feeling uncomfortable in my own skin again. In the past, I would consider these failure, I’d further busy myself with distraction, give up on me, and proceed to emotionally eat myself back to where I started and beyond.

One of my key, lifelong struggles has been to try to do it all. I know that when my calendar is relatively clear, I’m more in tune with myself. But as soon as I take on too much, spread myself too thin, that whole busyness thing…well, my progress collapses.

Now that I’ve been equipped to pull back and observe self, I’ve noticed some areas I need to revisit to hone a more positive outcome. Number one, I looked at my recent schedule to find there has been a ton of travel combined with a new job and countless epic things going on with my kids…none of it bad, but I have to retool to find myself in all of it, to regain the balance I know is just right there!

Number two, my diet has been off the rails. Am I seriously still dealing with this struggle?!? I could list the reasons, but they would quickly appear a simple laundry list of excuses. It is what it is. I’m on day three of journaling my food and although I hate it more than almost anything, this has to be another big priority for the time being. No excuses!

And number three, though I’m good about staying active, it’s time to refocus those efforts. Again, lots of reasons…frequent injury/arthritis associated pain, the onset of menopause kicking my ass, the reality that I’m older than I was when I started this journey…again, these could be looked at merely as excuses. I’m not going to give up because in doing so, it will all get worse! I’ve been fruitlessly arguing with myself over this part for too long…what a waste of time and energy!

I’ve considered returning to work with a trainer for a while. My strength training has become less and less and I realize it is KEY if I want to turn everything around. I stopped meeting with Kasi about 18 months ago to finally aim for autonomy; when it became clear the ship was sinking on my own, there was only one thing to do. I’ve committed to meeting with her once a month to buoy me back up to a place I can confidently breathe. If I employ that higher level of watching the watcher, I see that this is not failure, this is survival at its best!

Yesterday was our first session back together. My previous apprehension about it is gone. I know I made the right choice. Friends, we can either wallow in the poor me, I can’t do this hard thing alone flight response, or bite the bullet, ask for help, grab someone’s hand and courageously choose to fight together.

Though it can be so, so tough…I’m renewing my vow to choose FIGHT from here on out. Forward really is the only option, an important way for me to put my Best Foot Forward.

52 Fridays…3 For 1

Happy, Happy Friday, Friends! I’ve been so busy diving into my new job, attempting to keep up with my teenage son’s jam-packed activity calendar and embracing the last few snowfalls to the fullest. Well, something had to give, and I’m sorry to say I’m pretty behind on 52 Fridays posts. So today, to bring us current, I’m offering a 3 for 1!

For those of you participating, grab a favorite beverage, settle into that favorite chair, dust off that journal and let’s get back to that journaling adventure of you! I’ll post three quotes this week; work with them however you like, whether that means examining all three in one sitting or chunking it up into three separate sit-downs…it’s totally up to you. Also, I’m going to make this week’s journaling exercise a freestyle…minimal commentary, just the quotes to spark your thinking and exploration. Without further ado…

I couldn’t help chosing that one in light of my new job and recent travels. I picked this next one in observance of Tax Day…

And finally, because nature is constantly beckoning, not just on Earth Day…

There you go, Friends, a 52 Fridays 3 for 1! Try these thoughts on for size and let your pen reveal what comes up for you.

52 Fridays…Breathe

Happy 52 Fridays, Friends! Have you been experiencing times lately where you are so stressed, when you stop to think, you aren’t even breathing? Well then, grab that journal and breathe! Take a few moments to relax, breathe deeply!

Consider those times you may find yourself holding back your breath in anxiety, frustration, disappointment, struggle. What would happen if, when you find yourself in those moments, you take a step back and breathe?

Is there a time or place you associate with peace? When I’m in one of the moments mentioned above, if I’m able to recognize it, I not only breathe, I try taking myself to one of those places. Here’s an image I go to regularly…

Jot some thoughts down in your journal regarding those moments you realize you’re holding your breath. When you find yourself there, take that breath. Where can you journey to in your heart, mind and soul? If you have a few places in mind, at the ready, you can escape nearly any situation, any time, Friends…give it a try! It really can be this simple to put your Best Foot Forward!

52 Fridays…What are You Afraid Of?

Another wonderful Friday has rolled around and it’s time to talk 52 Fridays again. So when you’ve found a few moments, treat yourself to a refreshing beverage, grab that journal and cozy in!

Are you fearful? If so, what is it that you fear? Do you feal like it’s logical? Rational? Can you pinpoint when this fear began? Or do you feel like it’s been with you forever? When do you notice it most profoundly? Does this fear even make sense to you?

As you may have noticed, I’ve been doing my darnedest to kick fear’s butt. But just yesterday I had an insightful reiki session that brought up past fear that is still holding me back. I’ve done a TON of crazy, thrill-seeker stuff in the past several years, so it’s not that kind of fear.

I will need to dive deeper, sit with it a while to determine what I’m still holding back…what’s holding me back. And when I’ve allowed those feels to pour out, I will step forth in faith with the other piece that spoke loudly in yesterday’s session and forgive myself.

Faith is an extraordianry tool I’m continuously working on implementing every which way in my life. So here’s the idea to consider on this 52 Fridays journaling journey of you…

Do you feel ready to break that fear into smaller pieces, to slowly move toward letting faith work away at them? It can be a scary process, I know! But in facing that fear, you will be amazed at what you find on the other side of it. One more way to put our Best Foot Forward.

Of Closure and Gratitude

It’s been well over a month since I traveled to Jacksonville to participate in the Donna Marathon Weekend’s half marathon. I’ve meant to blog about it for weeks, but I think it has taken me until now to understand its significance.

If you read this post a while back, you know this event has become far more important to me this year than when I participated in 2016. Though I walked it back then too, I was in the thick of my marathon and half marathon addiciton…I was seriously running out of control! The proof is in the bling I earned throughout that year…

Oh how I loved my running, it was an obsession that seemed to come out of nowhere…it was a total escape from life’s crazy, and the endorphins were a reward second to none. So much so, that when I found I needed that lumpectomy, I calmly rescheduled it so I could run a half marathon in California. And when I finally faced the music to have the lump removed, I was running another half only days post-op.

Yeah, that was a tough run for me. When I look back at this pic, I’m right back in that moment with the weight of all the feels. I know now, it was the running that kept my mind north of the worry and fear.

But, it’s also clear to me now, I was’t exactly running toward anything…I was running away from things. That girl had a LOT going on.

The running continued nearly every day until later that year when this dumb thing happened…

I awoke the meniscal beast, and though I eeked out another marathon and one more half that year, that was the end of that. Though the meniscus has quieted down, runner’s knee, osteoarthritis and my sports med doc have made it quite clear. I’m finished.

So there I was in Jacksonville, wondering what in the world I was doing. I picked up my race packet and enjoyed the expo with my friend Julie, because I kind of knew it might be my last.

Although we had walked plenty of training miles and planned to walk every last step of those 13.1 miles, I secretly feared my body wouldn’t be able to cut it.

So I gave my regards to Jeff Galloway one more time, just in case!

Before I left for Jacksonville, I checked in with my friends at OOFOS (my beloved recovery footwear company). Mind you, their footwear has supported my body throughout my injury and eased a TON of my pain since. It just so happens they have a Project Pink line…the same amazing comfort, but as part of their charitable giving effort, $10 from every Project Pink Collection shoe purchased goes to breast cancer research! Check out OOFOS’ fantastic Project Pink line here.

Well they generously sent me a pair for the occasion, so what else would I have worn to the pink carpet Expo?

Same amazing comfort/support, extraordinary cause near and dear to my heart! And I’ll just tell you right now, I couldn’t have recovered from this half later without them!

I was really rusty at setting out my flat Carla the night before. I barely remembered how and hoped I hadn’t forgotten anything important.

It had been well over a year since my last event, Friends. Past disappointment, the threat of pain…it was a crazy-loud loop running through my head I could not silence. Where did that even come from? I thought I was over all that. But there it was, and I barely slept that night.

I tried to reason with myself…I was only walking; but I was walking 13.1 miles on a bum knee. Ugh. Well, there was only one thing to do, so I put my best foot forward…just ask Elvis!

And the moment we crossed the start line, I remembered what I love about Donna’s event.

It’s not about the race or my pace. It’s about something so much bigger, and Julie and I were reminded of that with every neighborhood corner we turned…

Those homeowners embrace this race for the important cause it is. And to keep it light…

Though I felt I might lose my emotions multiple times along in gratitude for my own breast surgury scare results, these people kept reminding me to laugh and enjoy the journey.

 

My knee was getting angrier and angrier, and I hate to tell you how many times I thought about quitting. The emotion was raw as it became clearer and clearer with every mile, the race days I loved were drawing to a close. What if all the running was just a temporary vehicle to ease me through a tough time?

A deep, comforting feeling washed over me like the waves of Jax Beach…a gentle yet unmistakable clarity. What a gift to be there, to be able to take that winter walk with a great friend on a beautiful, sunny day in Florida. A day that’s not promised to any of us. A day I was grateful to be alive.

That medal is a symbol of closure I will treasure forever.